When I was in middle school, and I was trying to get a better handle on this "Christian Life" thing, I asked my mother: "Should I be thinking about God? How often should I be thinking about Him? What is supposed to be my main focus?"
This seemed like a really big demand for me.
My mother did not give a great answer, but the larger issue is that I was looking to her for answers, instead of resting and receiving comfort and power in God's Word.
Today, I realize that He is thinking about me! He is thinking about each of us!
My goodness, He was thinking of all of us, even when we did not care about Him one bit!
"But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)
God loved you and me, even when we did not know that He existed, or we did not care that He cared for us.
What makes anyone of us think that He stops caring about us, thinking about us, watching out for us just because we are saved? It's completely madness to think that He cares for us less, or that He starts demanding certain things from us now, when He gave His best, His Only begotten Son, when we were at our worst:
"He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?: (Romans 8:32)
We are called to live by faith, receiving from Him. God does not come or go in my life because of what I am thinking of feeling. The fulness of His life is something that I am invited to receive--and keep receiving!
"For if by one man's offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ." (Romans 5:17)
He is thinking about me all the time! He is watchinng out for us, and He is caring for us! It's not about me thinking about Him:
"How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!" (Psalm 139:17)
All this time, I was under such strain. I was so desperate to be a "good boy" in my mind, my thoughts, y actions. I simply had no idea how independently alive and active the LORD is. What was I thinking, that I had to create these ridiculous rules, demands, hardships for myself. Unreal!
Thank you, Jesus for setting me free. In this Year of Time and Space, you have accelerated my restoration and revelation of You, and I am freer now than I had ever been before. Thank you, JESUS!