Wow! Just plain wow!
I cannot believe this revelation has taken me this long to understand.
But hey, it just goes to show how important it is for us to believe the truth, and to be set free.
I have been the righteousness of God in Christ since the moment that I believed on Him. That was in 1994.
It was not until 2008 that I started to learn that I was made the righteousness of God in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21). This revelation came to me through Joyce Meyer and her ministry. At that time, I was facing so many dark conflicts and problems in my life. I was trying to find full-time employment as a teacher, but I had walked off of two different jobs. It seemed that all was lost, and I had no idea how I was going to pay the rent, to get through the month, etc.
Then I started to learn that I am the righteousness of God in Christ.
With righteousness came all these other blessings. Wow!
I started claiming these blessings fully in my life. "You know what my needs are, Lord," I would often say when I was facing difficulties, or when I was worried about how I was going to get through the day.
It was really something that year, that I saw the LORD taking care of every need in my life. I had a new job, I was gainfully employed. I was well-received and favored by my coworkers, colleagues, etc.
But then a sense of strain, of condemnation overtook me. I felt that I had to take care of life on my own afterwards. The question began to nag me: "What happens after this? What is next?"
There was the growing sense about me that life was all about me, and that everything was all up to me. I did not understand that Christ Jesus is my life, and that He is providing all things for me.
It's the abundance of grace with the gift of righteousness that we reign in life (Romans 5:17). God wants us to receive and keep receiving. God was not present in my life if my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors were properly aligned. It's hard to reconcile this, but I had no idea that God was actively alive in my life. It;s crazy, but it seemed to me that I was rolling the dice every day, wondering whether God was for me or not.
This bondage brought me into such despair and fatigue. I was so tired, so empty, and I ended up walking off the job. That was the third full-time teaching job that I had been working ... and I quit. I had no idea what the future held for me. I had no idea where God was taking me, or what I would have to do or say or think to be in the right place at the right time.
It was really hard for me to trust the Lord at the time. I had had no training in the grace of God, in His unmerited favor workin in my life, and more importantly that He is my life (Colossians 3:4).
Because I did not have a strong enough knowledge of God's Word, and because I did not understand how alive, vibrant, and real God is, I ended up trusting in my feelings. I ended up falling into this notion that I had to think and feel a certain way to ensure that God's presence was ... present.
This, of course, created unprecendented problems. The fiery darts of the Enemy were firing away at me, and I would get caught up in these arguments all the time. Yet what does Paul counsel to the Corinthians?
"4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
"5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)
"Imaginations" can also be rendered "arguments." God's Word answers every argument, Yet for years, I would argue with my head constantly, convinced that I had to get all the negative thoughts and feelings out of my head so that I could hear God clearly. What madness, but it was true.
That was the life that I was living.
TODAY, I am learning that this precious gift of righteousness is a rugged, rigid, right and ready standing that is not going away.
Now I understand what the prophet Isaiah shared:
"In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee." (Isaiah 54:14)
TODAY, I am established in His righteousness. I know that nothing I am thinking, feeling, wondering, or worrying about is going to change that. I understand that I am not living this life in my own efforts anymore. Because of this perfect gift of righteousness, Christ is able to live in me and guide me. I do not have to wonder or guess whether He will be there for me or not. This life is no longer about second-guessing God, but knowing and believing in His love for me.
This is just wonderful. This is peace. This righteousness, from Christ, to me, and it has nothing to do with my feelings.