I See You, Lord! The Path of the Righteous is Shining!

  For the last few days, I have been meditating a long, long time on this one verse:

"But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day." (Proverbs 4:18)

It is really amazing, the degree with which the Light is shining.

This verse coincides perfectly with this prayer:

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people," (Ephesians 1:18, NIV)

I have been praying this prayer for many months, many days, daily - and indeed, LORD, I see more of You! I see all that You have been doing!

Now, back to one of the revelations that came to me yesterday morning.

I was thinking about the times that I used to get upset, really angry with people.

I had such an intense sense of resentment, that I could not get rid of it. It was amazingly bad, awful, overwhelming. I could not understand why this sense of bitterness would just overwhelm me. All I did was get angry about that guy. I was so angry, and I could not understand why.

I can look back on those awful days, and there was one common denominator: Alcoholics Anonymous.

That awful cult teaches its adherents that they have to be free from anger. And we live in a world where people can easily offend us, and where we have this strange compulsion to think that we have to do something about how bad we may feel.

Well, that's what happened to me. I felt "guilty" that I did not push back, fight back, beat up on anyone who gave me crap or did me wrong. That false sense of shame, guilt, and condemnation followed me, in part because that was what others had passed onto me. Other people whom I looked up to were easily offended by everything, and they felt that they had to fight back, punch back, or rather punch first, to make sure that no one took advantage of her.

They felt so alone in the world, or worse yet, they felt that they had to take care of themselves.

Over the last week, I have received such a growing, amazing revelation of Your love for me, Lord Jesus! I finally realize why I was not "seeing" you: I had been believing all this time that I had to make sure that I did not have bad thoughts or feelings to "see You."

I had so closely tied my thoughts, my feelings, and worst of all the eruptions of my flesh, with this lie that if those thoughts or feelings were bad, then You were far away.

The answer is -- to see more of Jesus! It's about seeing You! You never went away! When David rubbed the back of my head, You were there. You had never gone away.

When I was wondering how I was going to pay the rent in July, 2018, you were there for me. You were there the whole time caring for me. I did not have to "do something" to see you.

It is so simple. You are so simple! You are simply so good!

"But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ." (2 Corinthians 11:3)

Christ, You are Simply So Good! All this time, I was discredited with complexities, layers of doing and thinking and striving and all the rest. What nonsense I used to believe -- and that's what AA did to me, what it does to everyone who falls into those stupid lies, that we need to "take steps" or "work a program" to be OK with God, to stay one step aside of our sins, in reality our flesh.

Consider the warning that God gave the Israelites regarding the altar:

"Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon." (Exodus 20:26)

There are no "steps" to getting right with God. When we try to follow steps, when we try to get right with God via our own efforts, we expose nothing more than our nakedness, which is what happened when Adam and Eve ate from the tree that was forbidden them.

If we try to make ourselves OK in our own efforts, we fail. If we rest and trust in His Finished Work, we are set free, and we are made the righteousness of God in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21).

All this time, I was working too hard. Instead of seeing more of You, Lord Jesus, I was doing more. What a mistake! Lord, I see you at work now. THANK YOU! I understand fully that you are working fully behind the scenes! THANK YOU, JESUS!