God loves me.
I heard that, read that, knew about that for the longest time.
Yet only in the last six months has this love become so resplendent, active clear to me.
Even as I was listening to Pastor Joseph Prince's sermons, even after I had read "Classic Christianity" by Pastor Bob George.
I knew that there was this love out there, but I was convinced that I had to live my life on my own.
Yes, Jesus saved me from death, hell, and the grave; but as for day-to-day life on this earth, I was on my own.
That is so sad, when I look back on that. I had no idea that He was determined, invested in saving me every day!
Jesus is my Savior.
He is my Lover.
He is my Husband!
God the Father is my Father!
He is there, everpresent loving me.
The mistake I made last year, when I was unjustly convicted in a court of law ... I kept thinking, I was still thinking that His love in my life was contigent on what was happening in and around me. Jesus had never not loved me. He had been loving me, caring for me for the longest time.
For one day, I feared the worst, that I had misjudged everything, that I was "off-track", that I was all alone in the world.
Yet even that harder day, October 25th, God was actually actively loving me. My Daddy was not gone. He was there with me in my pain. Even though I had been through such a criminal ordeal, I would later gone on to Austin, Texas, stay at a wonderful hotel, connect with wonderful pro-family activists, and make a difference in a conference in Killeen, Texas.
I meditated frequently on my righteous standing in Christ, that I had been made the righteousness of God in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21)
That revelation immediately began to settle my heart. It would take me a few more months before I learned, before I realized that God is using this difficult time to accomplish great things. Really, there is no greater honor than to suffer for righteousness' sake, right?
Did I really believe that? It's easy to say it when we do not suffer in the world's cruel system of things. I really do believe that, now. I have known and believed that God's love is real and unending for me!
"Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 5:10)
In fact, I have been paid back far more for all that I have been through. It's been quite something. I see more of Him, I am able to receive more from Him. I now realize far more fully what His unconditional love really means!
I used to see Jesus' death on the Cross as something static. Yes, Jesus Loves Me.
I saw everything as a dry act. It was all in my head.
Now, today, His love is all over, from my heart to every tip of my body!
Well do I understand Paul's prayer today!
"14For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, 16That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; 17That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God." (Ephesians 3:14-19)
God really loves me. His sending His Son to die for me, to live for me, to live through me, to cut a New Covenant, to bless me in every way -- such love!
Indeed, John wrote it so well:
"1Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. 2Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 3And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure." (1 John 3:1-3)