In the past, I thought about the harrowing situations, dangers, hurts frustrations, and all the rest which I have faced.
When I panicked or worried, I felt that I had to struggle, do something to remove the fears in my life. If I didn't get my emotions right, it would frustrate God's grace at work in me.
Now, of course, I know what really does frustrate the grace of God:
"20I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. 21I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain." (Galatians 2:20-21)
It's not about our effort, but His life.
It's not about tyring to bring God, but realizing that He is already at work in us. The moment that we try to "help God" so to speak, we are frustrating His grace, His favor, His fervor in our lives.
"When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory." (Colossians 3:4)
So, God is actively, passionately loving each of us.
There are some of us who receive it. There are others who indulge in it.
And there are those of us who can't get enough and just want to know and receive more and more of His love for us!
That's me, baby!
"17That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, 18May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; 19And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God." (Ephesians 3:17-19)