"Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief." (Hebrews 4:11)
This revelation about God's rest is becoming more prominent for me.
For the longest time, I didn't understand what God's rest was all about.
Now I get it.
He is our life, He is our majesty, He is at work preparing all things for us.
He is actively at work in and around me. I do not have to conjure Him up, so to speak, or beg Him to start moving in my life.
In fact, He is our life!
"I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life." (John 14:6)
"Apart from me, ye can do nothing." (John 15:5)
"When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory." (Colossians 3:4)
But we have a hard time believing that. I know that I have had a hard time resting in that revelation.
He is actively at work behind the scenes. I do not have to keep myself up awake at night, covering all the bases and the angles. He is taking care of me. He has it all taken care of for me.
It's not a game. It's not a joke. His presence in my life is not based on what I am feeling or thinking.
It was all paid for, provided for when Jesus declared on the Cross "It is Finished!" (John 19:30)
For the longest time, I was still looking at my circumstances, at the people in and around me, or the activities and outcomes coming my way, and would then conclude whether I was doing the right thing or the wrong thing.
Crazy, but true. There was a great deal of unlearning I had to endure. Alcoholics Anonymous, the law-centered preaching of so many pastors, preachers, and teachers had done their damage for a long time.
For the longest time, I woke up every day as though the day depended on me. Nothing would or could get done without me. I really believed that I was on my own.
Jesus, You are the Way! You provided the path for me!
And all this time, I was constantly living in doubt, doubting myself, doubting what others were saying and doing, wondering what to do, what to say, or how to navigate through this life.
So, all these years, a sense of pressure, a sense of urgency, this constant sense of "pushing myself" was a mainstay in my life. I had to be my own internal scold to make sure that things were taken care of. I was constantly having to be hard on myself, because if I was not vigilant, then nothing would happen.
Wow! Talk about arrogant! But I admit it today. That is how I thought, that it was I felt, and that is often how I behaved. God has provided everything for me. He is prompting me with His will, His desires for me. It's so wonderful to realize, to finally understand that I am not, nor have I ever been alone in this world.
I have been taking my blood pressure for the last few days. I have steadily withdrawn, taken less lisinopril over the last eight months following my stroke. And now my blood pressure has decreased considerably more since I realized that I did not have to stoke or provoke outcomes through my own efforts. This is really quite something!
I can relax, and recognize that through God's grace, all things will be taken care of in due time. I don't have to stress or fret about timing, outcomes, and deadlines. He is at work in me, and He is making all things work together for my good! (Romans 8:28)