In 2008,
I started learning about the gift of righteousness.
I credit Joyce Meyer with helping me to
understand my standing in Christ in this regard.
I learned that I am the righteousness of God in
Christ when I read 2 Corinthians 5:21. It was really something!
I then learned that all of these blessings come
our way because of this wonderful gift of righteousness.
But from there, I did not understand fully what
it means to be justified.
I was still stuck in my feelings. I used to
believe that God's presence would come or go in my life depending on what I was
thinking, what I was feeling. I took Isaiah 26:3 in a very strange direction,
to the point that it was debilitating for my mind:
"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose
mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." (Isaiah 26:3)
I literally thought that I had to be thinking
about God, or He would not keep me in perfect peace. The mental anguish was
just too much for me. Sometimes, I look back on those times and have to wonder
how I lived through those difficult times.
But I did make it ... barely.
I felt that God's presence, blessings, favor
would come or go in my life. Everything depended on me. Worrying had been such
a natural status of life. It would be many years before I learned to realize,
to recognize, to become aware that God is always with me. It's never been about
feelings. It's never been about thinking. It's all about believing!
At the time, ten years ago, I believed that my
righteousness, my righteous standing would come and go. I was still struggling
with the seemingly mixed messages in the New Testament.
For example, Matthew shares in his Gospel
account:
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and
his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew
6:33)
So, I am supposed to seek His kingdom and His
righteousness ...
But wait! Luke records:
"Fear not, little flock; for it is your
Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." (Luke 12:32)
God wants to give me His kingdom? OK, I like
this, but why is their a seeming conflict in God's word on these matters?
And of course:
"For he hath made him to be sin for us, who
knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him." (2
Corinthians 5:21)
This confusion provided a perverse opportunity
for the Enemy to lead me astray in all too many ways. I was supposed to seek
His righteousness, but I was made the righoteusness of God in Christ, What
gives? What is going on here?
And I did not understand what righteousness
meant.
This confusion and conflict created such
contention within me.
Today, though, I understand.
First, righteousness means that all my sins have
been put away -- past, present, and future. It means that I will never bee
punished, condemned, or harmed for any wrongdoing, action, or thought. This
revelation would have been too much for me back then. I was so worried about
doing the wrong thing, or going the right way. I didn't know how to rest, how
to trust God's direction and leading in my life.
These nagging thoughs would never leave me:
"Are you sure that you are doing the right thing?" "What if you
make a mistake?" What if this is not God's will?"
These pressings questions really bothered me,
because I was constantly bottled up with this false, limited understanding
about how great, how moving, how active, how available God is to me. I also
didn't know my heritage, my standing, my new identity in Christ Jesus.
Today, all of that has changed.
I understand that righteousness is a gift, and a
gift which I keep receiving:
"For if by one man's offence death reigned
by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of
righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ." (Romans 5:17)
Something else that often held me back was that
I would fail, sin, do something wrong. But here's the thing -- my righteous
standing before God has nothing to do with what I do!
This verse took on even greater significance for
me:
"But to him that worketh not, but believeth
on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for
righteousness." (Romans 4:5)
The righteousness that God has made me, has
nothing--absolutely NOTHING--to do with me. It's all about Jesus. It's all
about what He has done. I received His life, having received His death at the
Cross in my place for me.
Jesus is actively releasing favor, grace, life,
love to me, too! This part was missing for me, too! I never understood how
actively He is in love with me. We cannot understand the richness of His love
for us, however, if we do not understand the fullness of His righteousness
accorded to us.
When I first wrote this post, I had written the
title "Growing in Righteousness."
However, we do not grow in righteousness. Our
standing is perfect in Christ, for we are the righteousness of God in Christ
Jesus. For this reason, John wrote in his First Epistle:
"Herein is love perfected among us, that we
may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this
world." (1 John 4:17)
These revelations came at me fast and furious as
I was watching more of Pastor Joseph Prince, and taking in so much of his
revelations from God's Word. Those were exciting times!
Here I am ten years later, and it's really
wonderful how far God has taken me. I never realized how loving, active, real
He is in my life. For the longest time, this sense of demand, dread, even fear
about the next and the days to come were so strong, to prevalent in my life, in
my mind. "What about tomorrow? What will happen tomorrow?" Those
nagging thoughts, I now realize, were mere temptations, nothing more. I would
feel condemned about those thoughts, feeling that I had to do something about
them, prove them wrong, dispel them in some fashion.
I have since then learned to ignore those
frustrations and fears, and they have all fallen away. I have been made the
righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. I do not have to change what I am
thinking or feeling for God to be real, alive, and available to me. My identity
before Him has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with Him!
This is how I have grown in understanding the
grace of God, the gift of righteousness, and the person of Jesus in my life.
It's amazing how so many of us in the body of Christ will still live our lives
as though everything is up to us.
No! Everything becomes a gift, and our loving
Father simply asks us to receive from Him!
I had spent so much time trying to hold onto
God, to make sure that He was ever-present in my life. Yet He is my life! How
could He not be present?! It took me a long time to understand all of this, to
understand the eternal, wonderful privileges and joys I receive because of His
righteousness.
Amen!