We see how much better God has given us.
"1Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. 2Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 3And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure." (1 John 3: 1-3)
We also recognize how much He has graced us, and that it turn empowers us to be gracious to others:
"31Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." (Ephesians 4: 31-32)
I have since realized that since He has taken care of all things, that He is greater than my times and all time, it really does not make sense to hold grudges.
At their core, grudges imply that we have to do something to restore or protect something. A grudge implies that if there are any scores to be settled, we have to do something.
Yet we have the promise through Jesus, that our Father will freely provide all things (Romans 8:31-32)
Why did I have a hard time resting on these promises?
I simply did not see Jesus big enough, or my Daddy God interested in restoring to me everything that I had lost, or which other people had taken from me.
Yet if I simply opened my eyes, I have that in many cases, God more than overpaid the losses, huts, and sufferings which I had faced.
What was the one thing that kept making me angry? The notion that I had to prevent those bad things from happening to me in the first place.
That is wrong. We do not have to prevent bad things from happening to us.
I do not have to feel bad about other people making me feel bad. It is not my job to avenge myself -- at all!
Therefore, because I am neither responsible for my protection or my provision: He is!
"10For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people:
11And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.
12For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more." (Hebrews 8: 10-12)
We stop holding grudges because we recognize that we are not in charge to right every wrong, to correct every problem, and that the most officious of conflicts cannot stop, but in fact can enhance God's blessings in our lives!
"9And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10)