Someone had tried to comfort me with the truth:
"5Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." (Hebrews 13: 5)
Today, I was meditating on this verse, and behold, the preacher on TV was talking about this verse, too.
The next question finally came to me: why have I not believed this?
Because I was going by my feelings. I was going by my thoughts, and determining that what I felt or believed determined whether he was with me or not.
I was not believing the truth.
We cannot accommodate these frauds in our lives.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.
This was the truth which I had not known as true.
The physical pain because of the thoughts and feelings that I was trying to block, had created so much pain.
When we rest on truth, though, it will not matter what we feel, because the perfect love of God casts out the fears, and puts away all frauds.
Where did this lie come from, by the way?. . .
It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die. (AA, pg 66)
That statement is a flat out lie. How we feel is a manifestation of what we are thinking.
If we believe that how we feel is going to block us from God our Loving Father, then we are not walking in the truth. (3 John 2-4)
It could not be any simpler.
It does not matter how we feel, at all:
"37Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8: 37-39)
So, I was once again asking myself today -- why did I not believe this?
Because of the garbage which I had been taught as a youth.
Now more than ever, I have begun to understand. What I needed was not a greater revelation of Jesus only, but also to get rid of the lies and frauds which I had been taught as a kid.
It's not the things you don't know that hurt you. It's the things you know that ain't so.
And that is the way it is:
"Nevertheless what saith the scripture? Cast out the bondwoman and her son: for the son of the bondwoman shall not be heir with the son of the freewoman." (Galatisn 4: 30)
Notice "what says the Scripture?", not "what does your mother say?" or "what does the preacher say?" or "what do you say?" (and certainly not "How does Bill see it?"
What does the Bible say, and what does the Gospel reveal:
"Be it known unto you therefore, men and brethren, that through this man is preached unto you the forgiveness of sins: 39And by him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses." (Acts 13: 38-39)
For the longest time, I was so frightened and worried about how I felt. I was guided by the stupid feelings, rather than resting in the truth of what Jesus says (not just "said" but says!- about me and you!)
That is a lie, and that lie is defeated in the truth of God's Word!
For so long, I was reading the Bible just to feel better. Now I know better, and I read the Bible to know Him better and keep receiving His favor.
I also realize that he is not going anywhere, and the lie that how I feel determines whether He is there or not, well, it's just not there anymore!